• abbyjanegreen

Why I loved, Loving What Is by Byron Katie

What an incredibly beautiful book! Katie's love and compassion for people shines through every page as she helps people through many different problems in life. This book truly uncovers The Work and how it helps us see the world clearly and get to the root of any problem. She teaches that all problems are thought problems, and that this is how she became a lover of What Is! The four questions she teaches and the turnarounds can be asked in any situation and to solve any problem. Doing this work in my own life has been incredibly freeing. Whenever I am frustrated or anxious about something, I answer these four questions and then turn it around. It is amazing how the problem is solved by understanding that the real problem is that I am believing something that isn't even really true.


For example I am often frustrated that my kids don't listen to me when I ask them to do or not do something. Answering the four questions and doing a turnaround is incredibly helpful here. I ask myself if this is indeed true, a simple yes or no. And if yes, can I absolutely know that it is true? Then see how I react, what happens, when I believe this thought? I get mad or raise my voice in protest. I am unkind and start giving consequences or taking away privileges. I certainly don't like acting this way, an d I blame it on them. The last question is, who or what would I be without this thought? The answer is often, I would be calm and peaceful or happy without that thought. Which is awesome to realize that it's actually the thought making me feel this way, and not my children. Because my thoughts are on me, I can't actually change anything about my kids. Next comes the part I really love, the turnarounds and seeing how they are more true than my original painful thought. So in this example the turnarounds would be, I don't listen to me. I don't listen to my kids. My kids do listen to me. And I begin to see that those turnaround answers are actually more true than that they don't listen to me, they listen to me more than I listen to them maybe even. I realize my frustration is always just coming from a thought that isn't even necessarily true. Ah, what a relief!


Her delivery of walking people through these questions is seamless and lovely. She is kind and encouraging at helping them answer these questions for themselves. She is there to help them uncover their own wisdom. Anyone and everyone would benefit from this beautiful book, I always recommend when talking about understanding thought work. Learning her tools for unraveling our thoughts is powerful!

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