• abbyjanegreen

Urges

One thing I really want to get good at lately, is feeling an urge to do something and not saying yes to it. It sounds simple, I do this sort of thing all the time with my kids. They want candy for breakfast, I say no, they cry or throw a fit and I still don't give in. Sometimes they ask a few times, sometimes easily take no for answer. Huh. That was easy. So why don't I do that same thing with myself? I have an urge for an afternoon treat or sweats after dinner and I say yes. It's like I think I have to believe it's true. I am craving chocolate so then of course you have to say yes, right? Wrong. I am learning to treat some of the thoughts in my head like my toddlers who want candy for breakfast, I simply say no. It's okay that you want the candy, it tastes good. There's nothing wrong with you sweet child, I'm not even mad that you're asking, and you're more than welcome to be mad at me for saying no, but it's still a no. Simple. What if feeling an urge was that easy, you recognize it, feel the discomfort of it, listen to the fit, love the toddler in your brain who is throwing the fit, and move on with your morning. Overtime my toddler stops asking because she knows the answer is no. This brings up an interesting point, because sometimes the toddler does see the candy first thing and tries to ask again and we might say yes one time because they rarely ask and it's a special occasion etc etc and then we wonder why the whole process starts over again and they're back to asking for candy in the morning and throwing fits when they can't have it. And we think, wait a second they should know that we don't eat candy for breakfast. I should be further along than this, I thought I learned how to deal with urges? Why is this happening again? It's because it's the human experience to have urges, we can get better at feeling them through without saying yes to them, but they are never going away. Because somewhere in our brain there's a toddler that remembers what candy tastes like first thing in the morning. And that's okay!

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